i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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