how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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