The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I supernannyed him into submission
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
