coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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