I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
