I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
