You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
