I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
