thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
