You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
