I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
nutella sex= disaster
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
