bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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