He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
