i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
