So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Found the puke drawer
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
