I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
