You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You're a waste of cheezeits
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
