Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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