I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
