His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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