12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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