I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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