i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
