Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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