but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
