RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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