Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize