11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
