I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
