there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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