Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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