If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
