Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
