Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
