I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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