turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We got so high we made milksteak
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
