ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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