would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
