she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
