he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
