weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
