We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
