You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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