I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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