i think i have herpe
just one?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
