saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
