I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
