So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's shark week go big or go home
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize