So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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