who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
