You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
