I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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