i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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