what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
