i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
