You're completely useless in the revolution.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
