Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
