we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Green mimosas i think yes
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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