she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
