State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
