I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize