Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
