You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
