apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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