Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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