Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
