idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
