Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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