if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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